We are happy to bring you the finest in rare
and unedited interviews, with people you know
and love in the community.
He's probably collecting a pension from being
around Alternate Reality Gaming for so long, but
he's not forgetful or bitter yet. Goes to show,
Martin Mitchell has one hell of a mind, and we
didn't even need to take anything out of context
for this very interesting interview. The man you
know as Martavius checks in with his thoughts
on life, love, and the pursuit of rodents.
| gg.com:
|
Mr. Mitchell,
good day to you. First off, we want to confirm...
you are a Canadian citizen, correct? |
| martavius: |
Only on weekdays. |
| gg.com: |
How did you feel when
you read the malicious comments made by Steve
Peters towards Canada in a past interview
right here on guysguise.com? |
| martavius: |
I was a little annoyed, but felt much better
after mailing him that rabid ferret. |
| gg.com |
Ferret? I thought you
were the gerbil expert around these parts? |
| martavius: |
The gerbils were taken away for...er...legal
reasons. Something about competition, and
how there shouldn't be any. |
| gg.com: |
That's a shame. Was it
a nasty situation? |
| martavius: |
Depends on who you ask, I'd guess. Personally,
I found it pitiful enough to be funny. The
ferrets are still laughing. |
| gg.com: |
Well, that's funny enough
for us too then. You've been around the ARG
community for what seems like the very start.
What's your best memory to date? |
| martavius: |
There was this one time, in the back of
her car..... |
| gg.com |
Not a memory *from* a
date... sheesh! |
| martavius: |
Oh, you meant ARG-wise. Probably the A.I.
endgame. |
| gg.com: |
How did the A.I. endgame
change you as a person, using only words that
begin with a vowel please. |
| martavius: |
It accelerated all attributes and utilized
awesome energies in an open attempt at assimilation. |
| gg.com: |
Exactly what we thought.
Mr. Mitchell, you seem to have a fascination
with IRC scripts. What is your favorite script
of yours that people in the ARG community
might not know about yet? |
| martavius: |
Quite possibly the !lemming script. Either
that or !freedom. |
| gg.com: |
Do you have any regrets
so far, being such a prominent member of the
ARG community? |
| martavius: |
Since when was I prominent? Who even told
you where to find me? |
| gg.com: |
Kevin Sapough sent us
a press release. |
| martavius: |
Damn him and his blasted ducks! |
| gg.com: |
Are you avoiding the question? |
| martavius: |
There was a question? |
| gg.com: |
*sigh* Any regrets so
far, Mr. Mitchell? |
| martavius: |
Oh, regrets. Not really, no. Well...there
was the incident with the...nah, you don't
want to hear it. |
| gg.com: |
We live and die for this
stuff. Please, go on. |
| martavius: |
Alright, but no berating me for my choice.
Once, I let a troll live. Had him (possibly
them, it was dark) in my sights, and just
Let. Him. Go. |
| gg.com: |
That is terrible! You
know that the rule is to squash trolls with
very heavy boots! Why would you do such a
thing? |
| martavius: |
I lost my boots in a drunken stagger through
a snowbank the night before. Besides, the
rule is not to feed the trolls, and I had
food in my pocket. I think it was food, anyway. |
| gg.com: |
Did you feed it? Did you? |
| martavius: |
I did not. It ran off when I flamed it. |
| gg.com: |
Trolls eat anything, especially those 300
pound ones that have nothing better to do
than eat apples and try to make others feel
bad. We can see two games gaining prominence
on the horizon: Chasing the Wish and L3 (tentative
title). How do you see yourself getting involved
in either of these campaigns? |
| martavius: |
I may get involved in CTW, assuming my boss
gives me breathing space in JMX. |
| gg.com: |
Oh right, we had almost forgotten about
JMX. How did you like working in a Puzzlemaster
capacity? |
| martavius: |
It's pretty good. I get enough amusement
to keep me awake watching the players, and
creating puzzles gives my brain a good workout.
If only the bloody paycheques would stop bouncing,
I'd be set. |
| gg.com: |
I hear that JMX is wrapping up soon. Any
comment? |
| martavius: |
Yes. They will never shut us down! JMX is
eternal! Down with the Man! |
| gg.com: |
Some quick questions, before we have to
let you go: Pudding or Jell-O? |
| martavius: |
Ostrich burgers. |
| gg.com: |
Bangles or Go-Gos? |
| martavius: |
I'm allergic to 80's music. I'll bet $20
on Soundgarden. |
| gg.com: |
Pizza with cheese baked in the crust, or
calzone? |
| martavius: |
Calzone pizza. Why make choices when you
can have it all? |
| gg.com: |
And finally, Alternate Reality Gaming or
getting kicked in the groin? |
| martavius: |
Wow, tough choice. I think ARGs are more
entertaining. How much depends entirely on
who you ask. |
| gg.com: |
What are you saying, we're loading the questions
in our favor? This interview is over! |
