We are happy to bring you the finest in rare
and unedited interviews, with people you know
and love in the community.
While Santa Claus was getting his shit together
up at the North Pole, we sent Harvey Macklin in
for a special look inside the fat man's red suit.
| gg.com:
|
So, are we
on the good list or the bad list this year? |
| santa: |
Definitely the good list. You've done a
great service for all of the boys and girls
of the world. |
| gg.com: |
Excellent! So, we can
expect you to bring us everything we asked
for? |
| santa: |
Well, I can't guarantee a lifesize replica
of the Endeavor space shuttle, but I'll see
what I can do. |
| gg.com |
Are you currently following
any ARG or MMORPG type games? |
| santa: |
Well, I signed up for Behind the Scenes
participation over at chasingthewish.com,
but I haven't heard back from them yet. I
mean, come on, who would be more perfect for
interacting with ARG gamers than ol' St. Nick?
I work once a year and I know everyone's name! |
| gg.com: |
That's true... Santa,
how do you feel about cats? |
| santa: |
Hate them. That's never been a secret. |
| gg.com: |
When you say 'hate',
you just mean 'dislike', right? |
| santa: |
(silence) |
| gg.com |
Any plans to lose some
weight there, tubby? |
| santa: |
I tried one of those brands of diet pills,
but a big boil started growing on my neck
two weeks into the treatment. I didn't think
too much about it, until the boil popped,
and a miniature Richard Simmons jumped off
my body and onto my coffee table. |
| gg.com: |
Wow! What did you end
up doing? |
| santa: |
I set a trap with some leotards as bait,
and caught the motherfu**er. He's in a terrarium
with my iguana right now. |
| gg.com: |
Neat. So, for the record,
what is your favorite Christmas song of all
time? |
| santa: |
Easy E's "Merry Muthafu**in Christmas",
by far. That's some wicked funny gangsta shit! |
| gg.com: |
And your favorite Christmas-themed
movie? |
| santa: |
Black Hawk Down. |
| gg.com: |
Mine too. Any plans to
bring E! True Hollywood Story into your home? |
| santa: |
They keep calling, but I don't really see
the need. There's no controversy here at all.
Look around, you'll see nothing out of the
ordinary happening around here. |
| gg.com: |
So, the small people with
pointy ears mass producing toys and gifts
with their bare hands, not out of the ordinary? |
| santa: |
Not at all. |
| gg.com: |
Mrs. Claus is a nice
looking hottie... how'd you snag a woman who
looks like that? |
| santa: |
Oh, that's one of my favorite stories to
tell... |
| gg.com: |
(silence) |
| santa: |
Have you been a good boy this year, Mr.
Macklin? |
| gg.com: |
Very good. I haven't
assaulted anyone yet. |
| santa: |
Well then, don't be surprised to find something
special under your tree this year. |
| gg.com: |
Well, for the record,
Santa, I really don't believe in you. |
| santa: |
Oh, I see. That's a sha-- *poof* |
