Captain Corelli's Mandolin

Please allow me to express my feelings for this movie with a classic poetry style from my home country.  And now, the Haikus....

"Women-Oriented" Films (Chick Flicks)

Go see a chick flick?
Only if it has one thing:
Female Nudity

Penelope

Everyone agrees,
Penelope Cruz is hot.
Well, don't count me in.

Nic Cage

How does he find work?
He has the character depth
Of my left teste.

Captain Correli's Mandolin

Please please please please please,
If you care about yourself,
Please don't see this film.

You Americans sure make funny films.  Is it army film or folk festival?  Last time Yuzi saw mandolin was in REM video, 'Losing My Religion'.  After that, REM not allowed in Japan.  Screw REM.  Screw "Captain Corelli's Mandolin".  私はポルノグラフィーを好む!