High Crimes

How many times have you opened up a can of mushrooms, only to find that the label had been mistakenly put onto a can of green beans?  If you're saying NEVER right about now, then, ok, maybe there's another allusion I can use to describe the story of High Crimes.

Ok, how about when you have a one-night stand, but are under the influence of one or more 'vices'.  Then, upon waking up, you discover that the "Helen of Troy" you thought you were bagging turned out to be a "Helen of BFI Dumpster #3" that just happened to look good under dim light and hazy sight?  Does that make much more sense?

No, okay.  I got it.  You drive away from your favorite fast food restaurant, ready to take a bite out of your Super Big Monster McBurger, when you unwrap the foil and discover that you are now in possession of a Fishy McTrout combo.  Doesn't that suck?

Well, High Crimes is kinda like that.  Ashley Judd figures out that her husband is not the man she thought he was.  What, a guy can't have secrets?  Anyway, this movie goes from setting to setting without any cohesiveness.  It's like watching half of "A Few Good Men" and then switching it to "Conspiracy Theory".  The upside?  Ashley Judd is hot.

I mean, has anyone seen "Eye of the Beholder"?  I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.  And how about that movie where she plays one half of Marilyn Monroe?  And the other half is Mira Sorvino!  Now that's one split personality I wouldn't mind making a menage-a-trois.

High Crimes.  Ashley Judd.  See it.  She's hot.

Paul Cantonlini, movie reviewer extraordinaire