I Love That Lovage Baby!

What if Serge Gainsborough was neither French, nor dead? What if that guy from "Faith No More" grew a libido? What if that pouting pixie from "Elysian Fields" had a sense of humor? What if they made records again that could get you laid? If these are the type of questions that keep you up at night (pun intended), pour yourself some brandy, light a cigarette, and snuggle up with Loveage's debut LP "Music To Make Love To Your Old Lady By", because your post-coitus afterglow is just around the corner.

For lack of a convenient genre to file this into, let's call it "erotica-kitsch-hop". Equal parts trip-hop, Vegas lounge, oozing soul, and sensual breakbeat, the sound resonates warmly around the pelvic area. The cast of characters reads like an A-list of modern esoterica. Masterminded by one "Nathaniel Merriwether" (the nom de plume of "Dan The Automator": DJ/Producer extrodonaire from "Handsome Boy Modeling School", "Dr. Octagon" and "Gorillaz" fame), his masterful sample-based orchestration of ass-flexing funk beats, delicate strings, and subtle scratch techniques provide a perfect soundtrack to the b-movie flick you wish your life to be. Appearances by Canadian scratch master "Kid Koala", "Damon Albarn" ("Blur", "Gorillaz"), "Chest Rockwell" (aka "Prince Paul": "Handsome Boy Modeling School" partner, responsible for much of the sound behind "De La Soul's" epic "3 Ft. High and Rising"), "Afrika Bambaataa" (the 'James Brown' of hip hop), and "Maseo" ("De La Soul") fill out the sound better than J-Lo's Calvin Klein's.

As enjoyable as the instrumentation is, the album truly showcases the oral swordplay of the sublime Jennifer Charles (half of "Elysian Fields", etc.) and a delightfully lewd Mike Patton (best known as "Faith No More" front man). Like cheap perfume on a $10 whore, the lyrics' liberal bathing in heavy-handed double entendres is not what you would call subtle. This is especially delightful in duets like the "Berlin" cover "Sex (I'm a...)". If you think this is just one big genital joke, well...you're mostly right. But, littered amongst the disheveled undergarments and condom wrappers, you can also find fashion, laundry and hygiene tips, pick-up line advice, revolutionary political thought (sorta), and a frank discussion about masturbation. But don't be fooled by the comedic context, this is damn good music, delivered with more tongues in cheeks than in a Turkish prison.

Looking for a randy night in? Just follow Mr. Merriwether's recipe for the perfectly explicit imbibe: 2 parts Hennessey to 1 part Lovage. Enjoy Baby!
 

Nick O'Teen, Undersexed deviant, Amateur Windmill Chaser