You Have GOT to be joking me!
The travesty that is Survivor: Marquesas

For those of you who do not watch the show, please go here to check out the images of the contestants.  Then, rejoin the conversation at your earliest convenience.  Or, stay with us and try to keep up with things.  Either way, this just has to be said.

Let's do an impromptu little survey here, ok?  Look at those women.  And now, in your mind, imagine you are a male Survivor contestant.  Put this in your little brain:  You're stuck on a tropical island.  There is an abundance of sunshine.  Thus, there will be an abundance of SKIN.  You have four women in your tribe of eight.  And then, you go ahead and lose an immunity challenge, which means that you re going to tribal council to vote out a member of your tribe.  Who do you vote off?

Well, as of late, the casualties in the tribal councils have been of the Class A gorgeous category.  In this last week, the Maraamu tribe had a situation where it basically came down to two people in danger of eviction:  Gina Crews, a 29 year old STUNNER who liked to traipse around in a bikini and was, in general, very amicable to be around; or Kathy Vavrick-O'Brien, a 47 year old busybody with the figure of your average trash bin.  Hmmm... if I am a network and I am trying to gain the most important demographic I can (Males 18-49), who am I hoping will be staying for suntanning and swimming on my tropical paradise?  Gina left, and now males across the world have very little to pick from, as far as eye candy goes.

At one time, there were *three* drop dead beautiful girls on the Maraamu tribe:  the aforementioned Gina, as well as Neleh Dennis, a 21 year old college student (can you say Girls Gone Wild:  Survivor Style?) and Sarah Jones, a 24 year old candidate for the next Playboy:Survivor issue.  Now there remains one hottie on that tribe, and virtually nothing to pick from off the rival Rotu tribe.  The question begs to be asked:  couldn't the producers of the show convince other tribe members to consider their choices for who to vote off, in the interest of viewership?  I mean, it's all well and good to watch people pick crabs off the beach to survive, but why can't those people be buxom bombshells wearing barely anything?

Next time, why doesn't Survivor just go to Antarctica, and we forgo all the tease that is what we see now?  That way, all the male viewers interested in a peep show can tune out after the first show, rather than the sixth in the series.  And hey, if you're a diehard fan of the series and are insulted by this line of thought, here's a suggestion.  Find a small boat and go sailing somewhere hear the Dominican Republic.  Make sure to bring a picture of your fifth grade teacher to keep you company.  Happy sailing!

Bill Spears, Bardender